The only thing that is clear is that the university is definitely
going to put a proposal to change admission standards to the Board of
Governors at some point in the near future.

I first met Blair when I was 15. He was doing a set at the Maniscalco Gallery and I was working there doing menial labor in exchange for classes. I was in awe of his performance, the pure raw emotion, his talent and truth telling. He always remembered my first question to him, how I asked him how an artist can keep their integrity and still make a living. And when I grew older I would meet him randomly in the street, go out to dinner with him and my partner, attend his shows (and occasionally I would help film them). I even hosted him as a speaker at WSU where I fought tooth and nail to pay him the exact amount that he requested, because I believe in paying an honest wage. For the past year I’ve been running into him at the Purdy Kresge Library consistently, always having amusing conversations, and probably talking too loud for a library environment. I always sort of felt that there were certain conversations that I didn’t need to have because it was like we had some quiet form of agreement. Blair had always been part of the community for me, and while I wish that I had known him better I am glad to have known him at all. But maybe my not knowing him as well I would have liked to has everything to do with the way that I tend to not let many people in, and the sheer busyness of both our schedules. I never thought of asking him if he wanted to hang out because we have both been so devoted and busy with our work. At the time it seemed only natural to me that I would see him everywhere in Detroit. But now he has passed on and I can only hope that if there is a life after death, that he has found peace and eternal joy. Blair was a kind beautiful person that I will miss deeply.

Let’s get something straight: I don’t appreciate being treated like a sex object. I don’t need the supposed validation that your gaze is supposed to bring, because in my world I just find that sort of thing offensive. I’m not some dumb brainwashed bimbo programmed to think only about nails, and hair and sex. I’m a real person that has real thoughts and feelings.

So, I would appreciate it if you’d start realizing that “hello” actually only means “hello,” and isn’t some secret code. It would make me less angry in my day if you’d treat me with respect and stop treating me like a piece of meat.

Is that too much to ask?

I am going to tell you something. I do not share an affinity with the dirty punk movement. I am clean and organized and I like to keep my sink disinfected if possible. My books are organized by subject and I weed my collection methodically. I am an anarchist, miss mannered, clean and organized. I am an archival student that burns and destroys her own writings, personal thoughts, childhood history. I delete it all and in any format. Hell, I’m surprised I’ve made it with a blog this far, but maybe the anonymity has something to do with it.

I call myself an anarchist because I believe in self-rule, in self enlightenment. But I’m not dirty and messy with slogans on my clothes, and a mohawk positioned righteously like most of the newer anarchists. Some don’t know how to recognize me and  they glance at my incognito everyday disguise and take me at face value. But that’s because most people are assholes who get wrapped into their own agendas and believe that the cover always represents one’s insides. I don’t need to fucking dress like you to be political or cool.

I’ve been angry lately, my insides boiling, mouth spurting F-bombs and all because I’m just sick of the shit, the shit that I put up with everyday, the feeling in my insides that I am alone, the discomfort and  awkward glances that hipsters/ activists give me. What I am too fucking authentic for you and you just can’t handle it? Anger serves no purpose it hardness the soft spots on my insides leaving me cold and discontent. To love is the real act of courage, the real act of revolution. I’m working on it. I’m not perfect.

Yup, this is an image from the Detroit news . . .

Sometimes I’m a real jerk but most of the time I’m just speaking my mind. Occasionally the words I speak contain truth. So recently I attended a rally to protest Catherine Ferguson Academy closing. There I was chanting along with everyone; proud, angry, ready to roar like a wild beast and it hit me suddenly the pure absurdity of ideology. Maybe this had everything to do with the presence of BAMN which likes to flood events with their propaganda and divisive language. So, there I was surrounded in the purist moment of ideology and protest and it was announced that CFA was going to remain open. Let me back up for moment . . . I’m glad that CFA will remain open but I don’t see the chartering of CFA as a victory but as a major concession. Not only does the fate of this school now rest in private hands which creates a future that is not necessarily sustainable, but negative changes have already begun; teachers will no longer be unionized. There is no reason to celebrate  a supposed “victory” because heavy closures and the chartering of many Detroit Public Schools are still underway. With that in mind I was barely able to share the excitement of the crowd.

I really don’t believe for a moment that we are entering a “New Jim Crow Era” as BAMN likes to intimate. In my mind this is an example of inflammatory language used to create an intense reaction instead of a critical analysis and intellectual debate about the current socio-economic situation in the U.S. Might I also add that economic disparities across the nation are hitting ethnic groups of all kinds in the lower class (including poor whites [gasp]). Shame on you BAMN for not offering a critical analysis! What is most interesting to me is how people in the mainstream didn’t really start looking at poverty in this country until the middle class started shrinking. Suddenly as more members of the middle class began to experience economic strain and disparity everyone wants to rush to their cause. But what about the people that have been suffering in the lower ranks of society from the very beginning? And why is everyone so interested in re-building the middle class without concerns for those in the deepest depths of poverty? I have always thought that the main purpose of the middle class has been that it serves as a buffer between the poor and the rich, preventing the inevitable people’s revolution. Many of us have not heard the call to revolution because we’ve been so plugged in to our devices; television, the internet, facebook, celebrity news. We live in a culture of mass distraction.

birds of a feather flock together

Why is it that most of the activists around these parts are “white”? I don’t typically consider myself an activist or white so I have to wonder what it is that turns me away from the activist crowd . . .and the only answer I can come up with is this: Typically, what is considered an activist in these parts associate themselves firmly with the leftist crowd. You know the ones typically wearing second-hand clothes with rips and holes worn like badges, patches of slogans attached to t-shirts, bumpers and backpacks and maybe even the occasional fanny pack. But what it comes down to is this: In my experience the leftist crowd has primarily been interested in converting me to their belief system, buy in to their ideologies without question. And I can only wonder how this is not different from the conservative fundamentalists, from religious fanatics?  I may have no god but I certainly don’t need to buy in to yours, your apothecary activism which would only swallow me in the masses of other slogan throwing progressives. So this is ultimately what it is the reason for my common aloofness, and critical eye: I am a creative free thinking individual that is not interested in buying in, or selling out. I’m here to make up my own mind.

So, lots of activists here are white. I had this realization while thumbing through a Trumbleplex photo album, a thought piercing through my conscious  mind “Wait a minute all these people are white? Where is the diversity? the multiculturalism?” And so these reasons for this phenomena come to mind: 1. Many people who are doing important work in the community do not necessarily consider themselves to be activists, nor are they necessarily leftist. There has been a great problem in the local activist community with shunning people who are not completely part of the leftist movement, with being unable to recognize the legitimacy of thought patterns that challenge their own. I say this because I believe that activists are trained to question only when it is socially acceptable, and only when that questioning does not turn on the movement/ ideologies themselves.  There are many people involved socially that are not leftist, or seen and accepted within the leftist clique.

2. The economy is tight here. Many people are not privileged enough to take low paying organizing jobs that cannot support their families. And also many people in the lower class work several jobs and have limited free time. Is it that activism or activist organizing work then becomes a position of privilege? Why is it that these non-profit organizations are importing people from other places to help “save” Detroit? I believe there is an understanding about this city that can only come from living, working and existing here.

Don’t get me wrong, the work that some of the activists in this town are doing are radically wholesome, and indelibly necessary and important but I can’t help but question it all . . . is this a movement by the people for the people? or is this a movement just for the left?

The problem with anti-oppression training is that while it claims to create awareness about institutionalized racism it creates a blaming personalized guilt based approach that makes it seem like racism is a problem that only “white” people have created. I agree next to every man that institutionalized racism is a huge issue and barrier in our society but I am so tired of hearing about white privilege. Not only are the  people that incessantly talk about white privilege overlooking the complexity of defining “culture”, but many times it is forgotten that these “white” people have no control over what skin color they were born into, and many belong to the lower disenfranchised class. Yes, white privilege exists. Have you forgotten that people with lighter skin have nothing to do with the formation of the system of oppression and that not all of us are “white devils”?  Have you forgotten that “white” is a transitory term that not all current “white” people were privileged enough to be  a part of historically? Yes, institutionalized racism is a barrier and a social ill. Can we move on now and start talking about something productive? Like ways that we as a society, as a whole people can move forward and overcome these issues . . . or maybe even recognizing that there is such a thing as racism outside of institutionalized racism.

And from a lot of the anti-oppression/ awareness training that I have read I find that too much of it is focused on white privilege and not on the thing that is most important: polyculturalism.  Let’s take for a moment the blurb that pissed me off the most on The Ruckus Society’s blog:

EMULATION: wanting to actually put on the behavior, dress, music, names, spiritual practices, political struggles or culture of the “other”. this is deeper than a visit – this is preferring the “other” above your own identity, and believing you have the privilege to just opt-in to the experiences of the “other”. this is most harmful when it manifests as an individual leaving behind their own communities and families and immersing themselves in the communities which their historic ancestors have negatively impacted, taking up space and resources and not respecting or understanding boundaries. what’s deep here is that individuals involved in emulation are often of the belief that they are showing love and respect for the “other”.

Some of you may see no issue with this, but I believe that it is dangerous when you start assuming that someone is part of, or should be part of a certain “culture” based on their skin color. It seems to me that this primarily directed at “white” people emulating “black” culture, but who is to say that people born within predominantly “black” areas are not a part of black culture. Who makes this decision? You? Does this mean that we should all live within the color of our skins, as part of the culture that others believe we exist in? Does this separatist ideology mean that we shouldn’t listen to music from other cultures or countries, use chopsticks, or learn other languages because this is deemed emulation? Do I even need to mention how Afro Cubans, Afro Haitains, etc. are often seen as “black” but they do not necessarily identify with “black” culture? The same can very much be said of African Americans that are born and raised in what is considered “white” culture (predominantly “white” areas) and are chastised for not being “black” enough or trying to be “white” simply because they do not entirely fit in to what is stereotyped as “black” culture. I went to Detroit Public Schools, I experienced and witnessed the deep and lasting effects of colonialism–internalized and otherwise.

Culture is transitory, ever shifting and changing and dynamic. And I challenge you: a method to end racism is through polyculturalism. As an artist I can only see the world as a place to share ideas, music, and language. I cannot think of the world only within such small boundaries, and people do not define themselves only with the confines of their skin.

A slightly connected thought: Overcoming racism is not about becoming color blind, it is about being able to see the ethnicity/ skin color/ culture of others and not let that affect how we treat, think of, or behave towards others. While racism has such a devastating and oppressive impact on our society it is important to remember that the very idea of race is something that was created through the Spanish Inquisition, the slave trade, and by German scientists. We are all fucking human!

And so I leave you with this important citation from Vijay Prashad, ” . . .since the benevolent multiculturalist treats the concept of culture as a homogeneous and ahistorical thing that can be appreciated, but that remains far outside the enclosed ambit of one’s own cultural box. To retain this distance and this sense of a self-enclosed culture is to pretend that our histories are not already overlapping, that the borders of our cultures are not porous” (61, Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting: Afro-Asian connections and myth of cultural purity”).

So my beef with Adrienne Maree Brown is partly with the philosophy of the Ruckus Society, which epitomizes racist thought patterns, and with her blog that occasionally contains some interesting tidbits but predominantly caters to the leftist activist crowd. And while there is nothing wrong with preaching to the choir per se, I find that her posts about Wikileaks and the post about her  new found “spiritual” wisdom through cooking really pisses me off. I tend to get a bit more critical, alert and intellectually charged when this happens, because it is in opposition that I tend to realize where I stand (and sometimes this is firmly in the middle and not on the left as I occasionally imagine myself). I might be an anarchist but I am not as leftist as you think.

So, my next three posts will focus on  reactions to all the reading and thinking I have been doing about the activist world in this order:

• a response and analysis of the philosophy of the Ruckus Society (the 5 step perspective on equity)
• an in-depth analysis of the issues surrounding Wikileaks/ a response to Adrienne’s post (NO! It does not just mean that more people will be radical!)
• a critique of cooking in the modern world (the dominance of appliance objects and the meaning of eating).

Stay tuned to this internet frequency!

The problem is this: I am not black, but I am not white either. While to the naked eye you may imagine that I am white this is only because I am so ethnically ambiguous. I can blend into a variety of ethnicities and cultures: Greek, Lebanese, Italian, Ukrainian, Jewish and maybe if I am speaking Spanish and I have a tan you might think I am half Mexican. I’ve been called a plethora of labels/ pejoratives: “little Arab girl” and “cracker” just to name a few.  And yet I am more than the skin that I live in, or at least that is how I think of myself even if the rest of the world doesn’t see me this way.

But I can’t help but ask myself the big question: how do we end racism in all its many forms? Can racism be uprooted by changing our culture one person at a time? Is it the lone voice that can make a significant impact or is it a mass movement?

Metro Detroit 2000 Census Race

When I think of activism, I can’t help but be a little critical. I have noticed that there are lots of activists that believe that if they join a committee, coalition or organization that this makes them automatically on the side of justice. And yet I find that oftentimes I am confused and turned off by the activist crowd, maybe it’s the dismissive way that I am dealt with (much like my walk home), the typical self-righteous attitude (the “I’m better than you because I am doing something important” attitude), or the just plan snobbery and rudeness that I have encountered. I simply cannot stress this enough to the universe: You are not a good activist if you are not a good person. I don’t care how many good works you do, or how many memberships in how many organizations you have the important thing is that you treat others with respect and dignity.  Real activism begins in the self. It seems like with the advent of technology people have just simply gotten more rude and dismissive, so wrapped up in their technology that they are no longer present. Either this is a movement in the world, or I am just not important enough to be worth someone’s time and effort . . . but maybe that is because I am part of a small minority in this city (of the non-black variety). Do any of you think that it is any accident that Latinos live in the most polluted sector of Detroit?